End of Life Activities

My Look at His Book

By Kay Wilson-Bolton

March 1, 2005

Notary work at the rest homes usually involves meeting with family members who are helping their elderly parents or relatives make final arrangements for someone else to handle their business.

I really wish the patients would deal with these matters before they get to the rest home so that the stress of “final” days is less.

There have been occasions when it was too late for me to help because the patient was not able to understand what documents they were being asked to sign.

I was not prepared for my last appointment which was to notarize the final will and testament and durable power of attorney for someone I knew, a 50 year-old Santa Paula man dying of cancer.

Because he had no immediate family to help, and his mother was in a room down the hall, two high school chums had accepted the responsibility for his cats, his apartment and his personal business.

They told me that he had about two months to live.

After concluding our business, and some friendly chit chat in which he participated, I put my hand on his and told him that God would heal him on either side of eternity.

I wanted desperately to pray for him but I sensed that his friends were not ready for me to do that, so I prayed anyway in my heart and in my car.

I told him I would be back for a visit and he seemed glad to know that. I found an extra book I keep on hand called, “A Purpose Driven Life”, inscribed a little note and set aside to take with me on our next visit. That was Monday.

I went back on Wednesday at 9 am and it seemed as though the front door was locked. No one paid any attention tome so I assumed they had new rules and left.

I was going back the next day but a couple of appointments toppled onto each other and I purposed to go on Saturday

The front door was locked again and I really felt as though I was not keeping my promise to visit him again to talk about eternal things and His relationship with God.

I decided to try and side door and followed someone in. I went to his room and found that his name was no longer on the wall.

An aide recognized me from a few days before and let me know that he had died.

I felt sick that I had allowed my schedule to get between me and a man facing death.   I flirted with his moment in time and it ran out for both of us. For him it was too late to hear about how God can redeem the lost; too late for me to share the Good News of salvation.

As I walked to my car, I felt the tears in my eyes, and as I sat in the car for several minutes, aching for being so selfish, I recalled the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8;

1 There is an appointed time for everything,  and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die.

We can accept God’s timetable or be crushed by it. The God who ordains the routine events of our lives is a compassionate, gracious, faithful God.. Birth and death, sowing and harvesting, weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing, speaking and keeping silent, and war and peace are common occurrences in life.

We must fit ourselves appropriately into God’s plan for our lives, and not try to fit God into ours.




About Kay Wilson-Boltonhttp://www.kaywilsonbolton.netWith a full-time career in real estate, I can add to your bank of knowledge, not only in real estate but in many areas of life that deal with people and relationships and choices. My real estate career has taught me many lessons about planning ahead and looking forward. I believe in helping along the way so that they can be the best they can be in any situation. I serve as a Fire Department Chaplain and Coordinator for the Many Meals Project which serves homeless and hungry families in my community. The event is far more than many meals. As a result of my work with the homeless population in my community, I received the Good Neighbor Award 2017 from the National Association of Realtors and named as a Champion of Homes in 2015 by the California Association of Realtors. I make pastoral visits to the inmates in the County Jail System and offer them what God says about "all things being new" and His remarkable plan for our lives. I have served my community as Mayor and in many volunteer capacities. I serve others by serving God first. My husband is involved in prison ministry and is a graphic artist. We live a simple life in Santa Paula with an office cat named Scout, three rescued poodles and a cat named Tony Diane at home.

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